All quotes from The Office

"Why isn't it in my hand? A company runs on efficiency of communication, right? So what's the problem, Pam? Why didn't I get it?"

"Am I going to tell them? No, I am not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer."

"Sure. Mr. Davis, let me call you right back. Yeah, something just came up. Two minutes. Thank you very much. Dwight, what are you doing?"

"Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on."

"Come on. Six-Million Dollar Man! Steve Austin! Actually, that would be a good salary for me, don't you think? Six million dollars? Memo to Jan. I deserve a raise."

"If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry."

"Discipline. Kinky! [Laughs] All right, here's the deal you guys. The thing about a practical joke is you have to know when to start and as well as when to stop."